Bad Etisalat Customer Service

This is a long post; it’s certainly worth reading if you ever plan on doing any business in the UAE. I cannot honestly recommend ever doing business with Etisalat (which I will never recommend to anyone). However if you’re planning on starting a business or planning on moving house in the UAE you probably won’t even have a choice (so much for the TRA and their magical monopoly prevention), so I can't honestly recommend setting up a business in the UAE at all.

I've had an internet account with Etisalat since 1998, I started with dial-up and moved to cable internet a few years ago, I haven’t really had use of Etisalat’s customer support in the past two years (ever since the revamp of their image to their unsightly green logo); on occasion my modem stops working, I call and it gets fixed rather soon.


unsightly green Etisalat logo

I do get issues with my cable modem spontaneously restarting or failing to get a proper signal every now and then; it’s annoying but not too annoying.

I didn’t properly document the first few parts of this as I really wasn’t expecting that much difficulty in getting this whole thing done (read: I wasn’t actually waiting for Etisalat to trip up); I’ve put down the application process as best as I can remember. After they messed up the application process I began taking names, notes, and information.

I dial 101, a customer service representative (CSR) answers and I place an application for account upgrade and get promises of account upgrade “within 48 hours”.

I should note Etisalat’s call centre hierarchy now;
-CSR’s are the underlings; they pretty much listen to your problem and forward you to other departments.
-The follow up team is just as useless, they file reminders with technical teams who promptly do nothing at all. There is no way that I know of to contact the technical team directly.
-Team Leaders don’t do anything.
-Supervisors don’t do anything either.
As far as I know level 3 is an entirely different department which you will on be transferred to after really raising a ruckus. Good luck on that by the way.
As best I can tell the whole customer service operation is taken care of by this company: http://www.contactcentre.ae/, I assume it is located in Ajman (as seen here: http://wikimapia.org/662353/ )

I wait 72 hours and reset my modem a few times and every time I begin downloading a file I get the same speed. I try another file, still I get the same speed.
I call 101 and discover that my application has magically disappeared, they can’t see it in their system; I’m not sure how this is possible, I created an application already, I just hope that this is a one-off problem, so I create a new application for an account upgrade.

I call the next day and am told that my application isn’t in the system again, I get asked for my previous application number, so I create a new application and (logically) I ask for application number, I do not get given the number because the CSR apparently doesn’t have it, what’s the sense in these people filing applications without application numbers?
I listen to sincere promises of some tech that he would definitely call back, I told him “you’re just saying that, everyone at Etisalat says that” and he was almost offended.
I gave him my mobile number.
He didn’t call back.

I call the next day, discover that my application has disappeared again, I place a new application.

I call a few hours later and discover that the application has disappeared again; ask to speak to manager, get a response of “there are no managers here after 6 PM”, I file another application anyway.

I call back next day (logically before 6 PM), ask to speak to manager… “there are no managers here, you have to come visit our office for that”, How about a senior employee? Nope.

So I complain, complain, complain, complain, get redirected, complain, complain and get redirected again, then get given a new miraculous phone number which promises to solve all my problems… 80077666. What’s the sense in having two separate departments for processing upgrades via telephone? I haven’t the faintest idea, ask etisalat.

When you call 80077666 outside of hours you are told that you can actually apply online at www.alshamil.ae... I can just visit a website, punch a few characters in and get my request processed? Well that site doesn’t work, I’ve reported it to Etisalat too, and they really don’t care (and I tried www.alshamil.net.ae too, catering for the incompetence of the TRA and Etisalat in believing there are enough people in the UAE who’d want websites to warrant adding .net to their TLD). All the site displays is a blank page with the error “Content ID is not valid...aborting pagetitle”, a standard Etisalat website header and a nice blank grey page.

If even getting a simple account upgrade is this much of a hassle for Etisalat, why not take your ISO 27001:2005 Certification and change the number to a continuously playing loop telling everyone to come into the office with a baseball bat to get their stuff sorted out instead of even half-pretending that there is any other option. Well guess what, even if you visit the office they will not do anything.

So I call 80077666 and begin complaining and ask for a manager, instead I get another application request put down. I ask for the application number, “of course!” the voice on the other end of the line tells me, as if I was asking for the impossible. I get sincere promises of an upgrade within 48 hours.

I call back a few times just to ensure that I still have a working application number.

I call again give the application number and I am told that my account has been upgraded… All I need to do is restart my modem and my computer and I’ll have a faster connection.
So I reset the modem and reregister it and I get the same speed yet again.
I unplug the modem and plug it into a different computer. Same speed.
I unplug the modem and plug it into a third different computer. Same speed.

Obviously my account hasn’t been upgraded, so I call again, speak to a CSR and after a 25 minute long phone call, apparently the account has been upgraded… I wait on hold for a while longer until the person comes back and tells me that the account hasn’t been upgraded ‘fully’, I wasn’t aware they could upgrade an account half way, but this is Etisalat.

I inquire as to why it is listed as upgraded when it is not actually upgraded “well sometimes it takes two to three days, and you only applied 2 days ago”
Actually no I didn’t apply two days ago, I applied an entire week ago and your company screwed it up 4-5 consecutive times before even registering the upgrade.
“Oh.”
So my account is upgraded but not ‘fully’, so I ask to speak to a manager, get talk of some ‘follow up team’, explain how I’ve spoken to the follow up team before and that they’re completely useless, I ask to speak to a manager again and I get put on hold.

I get told that the manager is busy, so I ask for the manager’s number - but get this - at Etisalat managers don’t have phone numbers.

Pretty much all technical support things must be done through the 101 number, and when they can’t solve your problem you cannot do anything at all to rectify the situation.

So finally a ‘team leader’ is summoned to the phone, I give him a 10 minute long earful regarding the application process and also regarding the fact that my connection is now unupgraded, he apologizes a few times for my difficulties in actually getting an application that would register in their system, but he obviously had no way to check on those, which kind of defies the purpose of spending over 100 million AED on your customer care services since 2000, so the ‘team leader’ didn’t actually (nor did anyone else from this point onwards) believe that I’d called in a whole bunch of times beforehand, he also seemed to avert the fact that I wanted to file a complaint regarding the already atrocious process I’d been through, but I didn’t bother pressing the issue any further, I’m more concerned about actually getting the upgrade done.

In the end he files a support ticket regarding my half-upgraded connection (I get the number of this) and he states that he has escalated its priority so that it can be dealt with sooner. I ask him for an ETA on a possible resolution and he refrains from giving one.

So now I have my support ticket, given the first few steps of this process I will obviously need to call Etisalat every day until I get my connection properly upgraded.

So the next day I get on the internet and visit http://www.emirates.net.ae/channel/tech_support/followup.html to check the status of the ticket. There are a number of tickets already on the page, all of which have either been closed or solved, a new ticket sits at the top of the list with the status ‘pending’.
Because my ticket is listed as pending it means my problem still hasn’t been resolved. The text within the support ticket mentions “called ocs ,who asked to advice cust to wait” with no mention of how long .

I wait another day and I call again, this time the agent tells me that the connection is upgraded, after further enquiry he says the case is still open (and if the case is still open then obviously the problem has not been fixed) and that the team that does this type of stuff is on their weekend, and they won’t be returning until tomorrow from 8 AM-3:30 PM. So I guess I’ll be waiting another day whether I like it or not.

I wait another day and the internet stops working completely; I wait a few hours and its still not working, I call and the CSR transfers me to the follow up team.
I explain my problem and apparently I’m part of an IP range having a few problems at the moment (lightning has struck my internets twice!). He claims that my connection has been upgraded, I ask whether or not my support ticket has been marked as solved, it has not (again this meaning that no, my connection hasn’t been upgraded).

He puts me on hold.

I wait a few minutes and he comes back on telling me to hold for a little bit longer.
I wait some more, it’s now been a 14 minute and 52 second phone call.

The guy comes back on the line and tells me that the connection is only half upgraded, apparently there is a discrepancy between two systems regarding my account and that there is some issue preventing them from fixing it until tomorrow.

In the end he asks for my contact number and tells me the internet isn’t going to work for the rest of today. There’s also some issue with my profile, I ask if it I try registering the modem on another computer will it work, he says it wont because my profile is deleted/missing.
He brings up that I only registered for the upgrade 4 days ago. You mean 4 days + 7 days ago.
A nice waste of 20 minutes of my life to be told the same stuff with 9% added technical detail.
Because I don’t believe most things people tell me from the support line I do try to connect it to another computer and it does work (but only at 1 megabit, which is the old speed).

I give up, wait a bit and call again. I explain my issue, ask to speak to a manager, the guy that answers the phone attempts to get me to fax in my complaint to some random number, I explain that I want to speak to a person, and that every person tries to get me to visit the office to resolve any issue…
“visit the nearest office”
Not interested, this is a phone company, correspondence is typically done over the phone.
He tries to make another support ticket and forward it to the relevant department, I explain that I’ve had about 97 customer support people make tickets for me so far, and it hasn’t really succeeded in getting a whole lot done, and I point out that the technical support people finish work in half an hour.

He tells me “I appreciate your patience.” Staff at Etisalat have this thing where they know that they can’t help you at all with your problem and that you’re going to be waiting a long, long time to get anything done… they empathize, but at the same time they can not do a single thing about it.

Later in the day, the internet spontaneously starts working again.

I wait till the next day and call Etisalat again; I get forwarded to the tech support/follow up team and after explaining my situation and being on the phone for 20 minutes they say they cannot give me the number of a manager or forward me to a manager because they’re a separate department and that I have to call 101 to get that…

I call 101, ask for a supervisor and get a fellow that sounds suspiciously like the ‘team leader’ I was speaking with a few days earlier, I explain my situation and wait on hold for an eternity. At about 20 minutes into the phone call he apologizes for the time it has taken and tells me he’ll call me back, I tell him that I don’t believe that he’ll call me back because as you’ll note from my experience so far, no one has called me back once to explain the situation or apologize.
He offers to let me remain on hold for a longer time, I refuse and ask him to call me back.
He does actually call back an hour later (impressive!) and tells me that it’s with the relevant technical department that’s working on my problem right now (wow! Like right now there are people working on my problem! Well not really)
I ask for an ETA but was again not given one because the technical team don’t know how big the problem is yet, possibly indicating that they haven’t even given my support ticket a second glance in this entire week despite its raised priority.

About 12 hours later I check my connection, and after resetting the modem, the speed is still exactly the same, my ticket is still ‘pending’ and as far as I’m aware no one is doing anything. I’m still in the dark about what exactly the problem is.

For the entire next day I don’t have enough time/bother to hassle Etisalat, I check my connection later in the day (after restarting etc) and it is the same speed. It has now been an entire week now since my account was listed as ‘upgraded’, yet it is not upgraded.

The next day I call up again, wait 5 minutes on hold and a CSR picks up, I ask to speak to a supervisor and get asked what my query is about, I explain it and ask to speak to a supervisor, she asks for my account name, I explain that I just want to speak to a supervisor because I’ve had about 400 etisalat generic call-centre employees look into the situation and do precisely nothing.
“but maybe there is something I can do”

On more than one occasion I attempted to not give my username (and save 10-20 minutes of time from having someone tell me the same stuff I’ve already been told and end up forwarding me to a supervisor anyway), during these attempts Etisalat call centre employees merely speak over you repeatedly and will not proceed unless you brandish a username and 20 minutes of your time to waste.

I give my username and my ticket number and wait a few minutes and surprise surprise she cannot fix the problem, she says she can send a reminder to the technical department, I explain that that has already been done on more than one occasion.
So she wastes my time and her time by asking for my username and checking their system for my problem (this takes a long time), why not listen in the first place, I KNOW you’re not going to be able to fix it so hand me to someone who can.
She goes to get the team leader fellow, but he’s busy, so she begins calling up the technical team.
They’re busy too, apparently I should just wait for some time for the problem to be fixed.
I quiz the person a bit and it turns out that I will be billed for the upgraded connection even though I don’t have it; I can dispute this though! “Do I have to visit the office?” No sir!
“Let me guess then, I have to fax a request in!”
“Yes.”
I ponder over the phone on whether or not they’ll mind the bill being paid 2 weeks late if they don’t seem to mind withholding service for 2 weeks. Obviously I didn’t really get a response on that one from her.
I explain that I have absolutely no faith in faxing something in because I think it’ll go to some office in Jebal Hafeet and be ignored for all of eternity (yeah I actually said Jebal Hafeet)
I ask who I can speak to when there is an extremely dissatisfied customer above the team leader, because right now I’m that extremely dissatisfied customer; she does not have any direct numbers, only internal extensions; well can you go check on what number I can call? Obviously not. She can’t transfer me either.
Put simply, if you have a problem at Etisalat you cannot do anything and they cannot do anything; they have a preset list of things they’re ok-ish at (resetting modems, checking account status, doing nothing, telling you they’ll call back when they wont etc) but for everything else you’re mince meat. No managers, no one useful, just more people asking for account names.

She goes to check for the team leader again and he’s busy again; she says he can call me back, I ask how long it will take for him to call me back, she has no idea and explains that there is a queue of customers he has to deal with before me and uses the phrase ‘long time’. Of course, I could visit the office to resolve my issue, once again I use the phone company/do stuff over the phone analogy which seem to work.
In the end the phone call is 30 minutes long and she forwards my updated complaint to 2 departments and the team leader.

3-4 hours later I call up again and ask to speak to the team leader and explain that he was supposed to call me back but didn’t; of course I have to tell them my user name again; I get put on hold, the man comes back on and explains I might be on hold for 10 or more minutes, I say fine.
I wait approximately 10 minutes, someone picks up the phone, doesn’t say anything and hangs up the phone.

I call up again and get angry (haven’t become really angry yet, obviously have shown some sign of dissatisfaction/stress, but if I didn’t do that then I’d just go into their stupid office), I explain that I was just hung up on and that I had been waiting on hold for 10 minutes; ideally I would expect a decent apology and the lady on the phone to go get the team leader immediately or at least do something, instead the operator gives me a nonchalant attitude and asks me for my username over and over again, I try explaining that I don’t want to give them my username and that I want to speak to a supervisor immediately.
She continuously asks for my username, so in the end I give it to her; apparently the team leader is busy, I wait on hold for a few minutes and I have other things to attend to so I hang up on Etisalat. Yeah. Take that.

Etisalat had this customer satisfaction survey going on during this whole problem whereby they say they’ll call you back (unless you cancel by pressing 1, which doesn’t seem to work half of the time) before you’re put on hold for an eternity to discuss your issue with tech-support. This robot from Abu Dhabi calls you back (some weird 06 number) and asks me a few things…
Was your issue resolved? Well no it wasn’t.
Was this the first time you called? Well no it wasn’t.
How would you rate the hold times? Terrible.
Overall I’ve rated my experience as terrible (more than a few times.)

No one cares. No one calls up in person. No one apologizes the next time you call. They just ask for your username and monthly payment.

As I go about doing stuff for the rest of the afternoon the mysterious robot in Abu Dhabi calls me 3 times to check my satisfaction; the first time I put it on speakerphone and try rating things as 0 and 8 (even though it says I should put in a number between 1 and 5, but I really don’t care) after putting in the wrong numbers 3 times I get disconnected. It’s obvious it doesn’t matter at all what number I put in, does it? It’s just another joke to siphon money off customers.

I call up again the next day after 6 PM (no supervisors around), explain my situation and the CSR goes off to the IT department to check on the problem. According to him they received my problem today; “as in they only first received it today?” Yes.
He says it’s possible it will be fixed within a few hours, he makes it clear that he doesn’t guarantee anything however. The connection isn’t upgraded by the evening.

I’m not bothered to call the next day. To count up the days gone by so far, it has been at least 15-20 days now, which unless I’m using non-Etisalat math is severely above the ‘within 48 hours’ I was told in the beginning.

Now it is tech supports weekend again if I recall correctly, so I’m pretty much going to have to wait another day. Despite this my phone registers a missed call from the robot in Abu Dhabi, I try calling it back but it’s permanently engaged.

I call the next day and as per usual get asked for my username etc (waste some more time); he says he’ll forward me to the follow up group and says “inshallah they will fix your problem”

The follow up group guy looks at my ticket and says its going to take longer, he has no idea how longer; apparently the problem is because some equipment needs to be upgraded (I’m not so sure I buy into that, but whatever, as per usual Etisalat customers have absolutely no choice, they literally buy into it.), he tells me that it has to go through multiple departments, which is why it takes longer. I ask how long it’s going to take to fix the problem, because the bill next month is going to be for an upgraded account which isn’t actually upgraded; apparently I can dispute this because the problem is on their side.

This is actually incorrect, Etisalat billed me for the upgraded connection from the day the application actually got into their system, they billed me for an entire month in advance.

I don’t call the next day, or the next day again.

An actual transcript of the next call:
Etisalat: Hello, Etisalat customer care center [name] speaking.
Me: Hello, I have a support ticket open, the number is [number].
Etisalat: Just one moment, let me check.
(10-20 seconds pass)
Etisalat: Yes, whose name is the account under?
Me: [name]
Etisalat: Whats the problem that you have?
Me: Uhh… the internet hasn’t been upgraded…
Etisalat: Just hold on, let me check the application…
(30 seconds pass)
Etisalat: You have applied to upgrade to 2MB?
Me: Yes
Etisalat: Now it’s activated
Me: It hasn’t been upgraded though
Etisalat: But in our system it is active, you have 2MB now, right now
Me: So should I check it right now?
Etisalat: Yes, right now it is active on (date that was 13 days ago)
Me: Yeah, I gave you the support ticket yeah?
Etisalat: Yes (some rambling about the date my upgrade was activated on)
Me: … and the first three words of the support ticket are “upgrade related issue” and they’ve told me the account has been upgraded but it hasn’t, and that’s why I have a ticket, and the ticket was made on the (date that was 13 days ago) and every time I call it’s the same problem. It hasn’t been upgraded. They told me it was upgraded, I restarted my modem and it wasn’t upgraded.
Etisalat: Because now you feel that you have the same speed?
Me: Well I can check right now if you want me to…
Etisalat: Yes, check it
Etisalat: From where you can check it?
Me: I have some files on a website.
(a little bit of time passes)
Me: It’s the exact same speed, it’s around 100 KB
Etisalat: 100 MB.
Me: 100 KB per second. It hasn’t been upgraded, that’s why I have the ticket number
Etisalat: No, uhh, sir this is something not related to system… in our system
Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know in the system…
Etisalat: But you have slow browsing? This is slow browsing.
Me: The download speed isn’t 2 megabits, it’s exactly 1 megabit, and that’s why I have a support ticket because I told them, I told them that it hasn’t been upgraded, they said they looked into the system and apparently there’s a problem…
Etisalat: From where you check the 1 megabit, from where?
Me: from a website I have. I know, I called, that’s why they gave me the support ticket number, they said “It hasn’t been upgraded due to an issue on our side”
Etisalat: uh-huh. Now sir, just try to download any, any file.
Me: I am. Right now, it says 115 KB per second, which is exactly the same. It’s exactly 1 megabit. It has not been upgraded, which is why I have the support ticket, and on the website it still says the ticket is pending, it says case status: pending. So it’s obvious there’s still a problem.
(silence for around 20 seconds)
Etisalat: Ok… Let me upgrade this, your, update your case. Just hold on…
Me: Well, are they actually going to do anything? Because you can see the date on the support ticket yeah? It says the (date that was 13 days ago) and now it’s (today), so it’s been 13 days and I was told that my account would be upgraded within 48 hours. Can I speak to a manager or a supervisor?
Etisalat: Ok, just hold on
Me: Because I’ve already had them update the case like 5 or 6 times, it doesn’t do anything.
Etisalat: Ok, just hold on, let me check. I will put you on hold, ok?
Me: Thank you.
(1 minute passes)
Etisalat: Hello sir.
Me: Yeah
Etisalat: Yes, sir now I will transfer you, just hold on.
Me: Thank you.

The preceding conversation was 6 minutes and 30 seconds long, given the number of calls I’ve had to Etisalat so far, would you classify it as a good use of time? I think we’ve already established two things; there is a problem, and it is Etisalat’s fault. Hold time up to 15 minutes I can take, it’s expected, but people with seemingly no knowledge of the issue wasting time is simply unacceptable, the fact that my account hasn’t been listed as ‘defective’ or similar so people don’t waste my time is annoying to say the least.
I gave him a ticket number which states that I have an upgrade related problem—the first 3 words of my support ticket title are “upgrade related issue”, I’ve had people at Etisalat implicitly state that the problem is on Etisalat’s side, there has been no debate that my computer is at fault until now.
Despite telling this first CSR that the ticket specifically says I have an upgrade related issue, he chooses not to believe the support ticket and insists on wasting more time.
Also, How exactly someone who works with computers on a customer support line could possibly mistake the speed of an Etisalat consumer internet line as 100MB when it was told as 100KB is absolutely beyond me.

(around 7 minutes of Etisalat hold music passes)
Etisalat: Thank you for calling Etisalat customer care service. (Some dude’s name) speaking, how may I help you?
Me: Hi, I applied to upgrade my internet connection and it hasn’t been upgraded… over… I have a support ticket dated (13 days ago).
Etisalat: Can I have the number please?
Me: (support ticket number)
Etisalat: Let me check it.
Etisalat: This is under the name of (name)?
Me: Yeah.
Etisalat: There is some profile related issue, [can’t tell what is said here]
Etisalat: Give me a minute please.
Etisalat: I see a request has been forwarded to the concerned section [some other stuff I can’t particularly hear] It is still with them for action to be taken. Please be with me, and I’ll update you in a minute.
Me: Can you tell me what date it was forwarded to them on?
Etisalat: Uhh… The complaint was on (13 days ago), it was created then and uhh.. inbetween multiple reminders already sent from our side. [can’t hear what he says now]. Please wait a minute.
Me: Thank you.
(more minutes of hold music)
Etisalat: Thanks for holding, I’m sorry to have kept you on hold.
Etisalat: I just checked and there’s a connection not getting full speed from the server and I already spoke to the engineer who is already having this ticket with him, and most probably tomorrow morning, according to him, he will uhh, he already processed it, but the results are still negative, they’re not getting the ID we created properly. So, according to him, by tomorrow morning it should get done.
So I have the details with me… let me check… is it (name) with me?
Me: Yeah
Etisalat: I have the contact details with me… I can see here… let me check by tomorrow morning and I will come back to you with a result.
Me: Is there any sort of a guarantee, because it’s already been
Etisalat. I do understand. I will come back to you, whatever the response will be (can’t hear this part) I will try my best to check on this problem by tomorrow.
Me: because it’s been going on for 2 weeks,
Etisalat: I understand
Me: they still haven’t fixed it, and every time I call I get a different story.
Etisalat: I do understand, sorry for that. But I assure you by tomorrow morning, whatever the problem is, we will pursue it and we will come back to you.

He does actually call me the next day. I cannot recall exactly what he said, but I believe he said they’d be looking at the issue today. The problem doesn’t get fixed.

The next day I call again. The technical people have gone home already, so I get pretty much nowhere yet again.

The next day I call again.I ask to file 2 further support tickets regarding the broken proxy unblock page, and also www.alshamil.ae being broken. The guy asks me to fax my complaints to care@eim.ae (which is the incorrect email address), I ask how I can send a fax to an email address.

Then I get forwarded to the ‘concerned department’.
The ‘concerned department’ do the same thing as the guy from two days ago and play the blame-game, he points out that my account is upgraded and asks if a technician has visited my house to check my speed, I explain that my computer isn’t the problem (verified by the fact that the day before I tried on another computer and it was the exact same speed, but regardless I have to go through with this crap) he says that he is sure that it is not, but it could be the line that is the problem (or it could be that Etisalat is the problem). He asks where I’m going to check the speed, I ask him for somewhere I can check the speed, he gives me this link www.uaelab.ae/test and I begin downloading one of their test files.
I test the speed and it is exactly the same once again. The tech support people aren’t working at the moment so I get another reminder filed and I get given a new number (fax number) to file my complaints to: 105. I try protesting that a reminder won’t do anything, but as per usual, that sort of thing doesn’t work.

The next day I call again today and after giving my ticket number and finishing the usual completely useless formalities…
Me: I was supposed to be upgraded, but I haven’t been upgraded… is there a supervisor I can speak to?
Etisalat: Yeah… please hold a minute I’ll transfer you to the follow up group.
Me: Can I speak to the supervisor, not the follow up group.
Etisalat: You can speak with the follow up group
Me: I’ve already spoken to the follow up group 5 or 6 times, they don’t do anything; I want to speak to the supervisor.
Etisalat: Ok sir, can I have your contact number?
Me: I don’t want him to call me back, I want to speak to one now.
Etisalat: Yeah, please hold a minute.
Me: Thank you

(despite my pleas I get forwarded to the follow up team and not to a supervisor)

Me: So it’s been like (however many) days now
Etisalat: Did you try sir to apply again?
Me: I don’t need to apply because they told me it’s upgraded, but it’s not upgraded, and they’ve already told me that it’s a problem on Etisalat’s side.
Etisalat: Yeah
Me: And everytime I call I get forwarded to the follow up team or the technical team but nobody has fixed it. Can you honestly tell me if they’re able to upgrade it or not.
Etisalat: Yeah, yeah for sure.
Me: But that’s what they all say, I’ve asked this to like everyone and they tell me “oh yeah! Of course we can upgrade it” but can you show me proof?
Etisalat: Yeah
Me: they told me within 48 hours, 17 days is not 48 hours.
Etisalat: I’ll tell you exactly sir, for upgrading, yeah, it should be 24 hours to 48 hours maximum.
Me: So I still don’t understand what the problem is, I can accept like a week if there’s a technical support problem, but I’ve been calling a lot, and every time I call it’s the same situation.
Etisalat: [no idea what the hell he said here]
Me: and every time I call they send a reminder to the technical team and it doesn’t seem to be doing anything.
Etisalat: But it’s not working at all now sir?
Me: It’s working, but at 1 megabit, but in 3-4 days time I’m going to get a bill for 2 megabits.
Etisalat: No problem for the bill
Me: What do you mean no problem for the bill?
Etisalat: Exactly sir, you can send a fax
Me: I don’t want to send a fax it’s a phone company
Etisalat: Phone company?
Me: I want to speak to someone about my bill, I don’t want to fax, because I don’t believe anyone is going to reply to my fax.

(the reason I don’t believe they’ll reply is because I’ve already emailed Etisalat regarding their broken proxy page and www.alshamil.ae and they still haven’t been fixed, that office in Jebal Hafeet I was referring to earlier must be really efficient.)

Of course my protests get me nowhere.

Etisalat: they said that it’s not upgraded completely
Me: Well I don’t get how it can be half upgraded... I really have immense difficulty understanding how you can half upgrade something
Etisalat: It’s exactly the procedure sir. (can’t understand the bit after this)
Me: Yeah but don’t you go through a procedure like “ok, we’re going to upgrade the account, we marked it as upgraded, ok it gets upgraded we’ll mark it as upgraded now”, instead they’re like “ok we’ll do this, mark it as upgraded. Oh! It’s only half upgraded.” I’ve never ever ever ever heard of a half upgraded internet account before.
Etisalat: It’s not half upgraded, it’s upgraded but not upgraded.
Me: that makes absolutely no sense.
Etisalat: It’s the same meaning.

I get bored in the evening and do some research, all along I’ve been told that there is some server not giving the bandwidth it’s supposed to give; I go through my modem log file and see the following
“SW Download INIT - Via Config file CM10240256_SB4100_1.4.9_bin.cfg”

Notice two key parts of that file name? that 10240256? What does that mean? That just says 1024 downstream and 256 upstream; i.e. the explanation Etisalat has been giving me (“I just checked and there’s a connection not getting full speed from the server”) has been a total lie. Basically they’ve messed up or forgotten to do something and they’ve been giving me the run around. All it should take is someone to change my config file and that’s it.

The next day is the weekend so I can’t really do anything.

The next day I’m up bright and early and I call and get transferred to a supervisor (let’s call him bob) straight away; he sounds senior and he sounds like he’s taking my problem seriously. I give him the low down on my situation—I also explain about my modem log and the things I’ve been told so far. He apologizes. He says that I might not be able to get the upgrade, I explain that I’ve asked multiple times if I can get the upgrade and been told “definitely” time and time again, I also explain the theoretical bandwidth of cable in proportion to my requested upgrade. He claims the normal timeframe for problems like these is 4-5 days. He says he will call me back within 2 hours and give me a timeframe for the solution.

I wait around 3-4 hours and I still have no call, so I call back and ask for the supervisor that I was speaking to earlier in the day (new tactic, I’m going to annoy the crap out of this one particular supervisor until my problem is solved), after waiting on hold for 5-10 minutes I get told that he’s still looking into the issue, and he has to co-ordinate with multiple departments to find out what is going on (I’ve already had this done by two other supervisors). When I get home I restart my modem and it’s still downloading the same configuration file and it’s still downloading at the exact same speed.

Ideally at this point I’d be expecting someone in a supervisory position to drop all other issues they have and address mine before doing anything else; I’ve been lied to multiple times, been given different stories, been hung up on, been transferred to the wrong people, had people indirectly blame me for the problem, had people title the problem as ‘slow browsing’ when it is in fact an internet account that has not been fully upgraded, I’ve been told incorrect information, and had this drag on over an entire month. Etisalat has not impressed or even merely satisfied me with any single part of this process so far; they’ve made a disaster of all the applications I put in, and they’ve made a disaster of my support ticket.
Adding on to that I must be the only person on earth to have a half upgraded internet connection.
People have apologized to me numerous times so far only to do nothing about the problem, I’m still at the same stage I was around 20 days ago.

Now it’s 10-12 hours since I called the first time today, I call again and get told that he is ‘unavailable’; can I speak to another supervisor? They’re in a meeting. He asks if I can I call tomorrow? You see, now’s the point when I’m angry. I state so, I already called today. I get put on hold and eventually some ‘hi level technical support’ fellow picks up; He checks through my support ticket, mumbles a lot and puts me on hold.

It turns out my problem is in Abu Dhabi with the technical people there; this is the first time I’ve been told my problem is in Abu Dhabi. I ask if I’m dealing with the highest level of customer support; he won’t tell me.
I ask him for his name and what time he works at; he works the night shift, so there’s no point in calling and asking for him again because the technical team don’t work anywhere near similar hours.

I call again the next day. I should note that this is my deadline, it’s the end of the month, my patience is non-existant and if I have to call 30 times to achieve something then I’m going to do exactly that.

I ask for bob; after waiting on hold for some time he is ‘unavailable’ as is every single other supervisor, team leader or anyone of use, apparently they might be having a meeting. But don’t worry! The kind fellow at Etisalat left a callback request for me at Bob’s desk! I’m expecting a call any second now! (well not really and being that I never speak to Bob again, you can most probably assume he’s completely ignoring my requests.)

I call later in the day and talk to some woman at Etisalat, I give her an earful, she goes looking for Bob but cannot find him. I am extremely angry, she says I can visit a business centre to check on the problem, I told her that Etisalat is a phone company and only 2 days earlier I was told specifically that I would not have to visit an office to resolve this issue (I should also mention from day 1 I was told that I would not have to visit the office). She cannot give me the number of a manager, she cannot do anything, if you had someone speaking an extinct dialect of Chinese they would be more useful. I tell her specifically that I’ve already had numerous reminders sent to every single team at Etisalat and that it isn’t doing anything, she asks me to visit the office. She claims there is a team leader I can speak to. I wait on hold for 20 minutes and hang up.

I call again, ask to speak to Bob, he’s unavailable, so the person begins playing the “your account is already upgraded” card and claims my connection has been upgraded; I ask him to check both systems to see if my account is upgraded, he claims it is upgraded on both systems. I ask him to tell me if my ticket is still pending or if it has been closed, it is still pending; of course I have no way to argue because I’m not directly in front of my computer. When I get home I discover that my connection has not in fact been upgraded.

I call again and no one is available as per usual; to make a long story short he asks me if I can call back tomorrow; I explain that I was asked that very same question yesterday, and yet here I am today, having called 4 times. Calling tomorrow isn’t going to fix the problem.
Notice the marketing-speak on Etisalat’s site on their “code of practice” document?
”If you wish to make a formal complaint, please contact our Customer Care Centre
available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our customer service representatives are
highly trained to help in resolving your concerns and complaints.
You can access our Customer Care Centre representatives at:
Free telephone number for Residences
(24 hours, 7 days a week): 101 (Outside the UAE +971 4004101)”

So I’m pretty much screwed, this is as high as I can get (that sounds so wrong)
I call the corporate customer support line and get nowhere; they don’t have any management contacts or anything of use.
I call the head office in Abu Dhabi and no one answers. I pretty much will have to visit an Etisalat office to resolve this issue; but I don’t have any time to do so for the rest of the week or possible longer.
I find the number for the Al Wasl business centre and I call it, a prerecorded message tells me I can simply call 101 for all technical/installation related issues (which as we already know doesn’t work at all), or punch in the extension 209 for management. I do so, and after about 10 seconds of ringing it disconnects. I call again, it disconnects after 10 seconds again. I’m calling within two hours before closing time but no one is answering. Considering we’re dealing with things like half-upgraded internet connections maybe this is a half-open office… maybe management finishes early, I try putting 0 in and get the same ring tone and then I get disconnected after a short period of time.

I try calling Etisalat again and I ask to cancel my upgrade, the CSR claims I need to call another number and that I should tell them about the (so far) failed upgrade and this should indemnify a 100 dirham charge being applied to my account for ‘downgrading’ (because in their multi-million dirham system it’s listed as upgraded when it isn’t actually upgraded)

I call the 80077666 number he suggested (the same number I had to call in the beginning to actually get the application in properly), and get told that I have to visit the office to cancel the application.

So I’m pretty much stuck now, I can’t get my half upgrade done and I can’t half downgrade my connection; this must be the only phone company in the world which cannot do anything over the phone.

Here’s an idea Etisalat: if you want to make more profits, get a tank and demolish your stupid business centres/offices.

During the calls I made on this day I also complained that I hadn’t received a response with my email to etisalat; apparently the address is supposed to be care@emirates.ae and not care@eim.ae and I was emailing the wrong address… but can you blame me? Etisalat uses the most confusing email addresses on earth.
So I fire off an email to the new address, in the email I mention 3 things in meticulous detail:
-the fact that my connection has not been upgraded, I provide both my account number and my support ticket number so there can be absolutely no mistake about the problem and the fact that my account hasn’t been upgraded should be immediately clear to the person reading my email; my exact quote regarding my support ticket and the amount of time that has lapsed since I filed the support ticket was this: “it has been around 20 days since I was given the support ticket [number]”. I assume that this would make it positively clear that my account hasn’t been upgraded to date, and that I filed a complaint 20 days ago which hasn’t been solved to date.
-the fact that customer service has been terrible and that I wish to speak to someone in management
-the fact that www.alshamil.ae and the proxy unblock request form are both broken.

I get a reply the next day, I don’t know what to expect, maybe this will finally be resolved…

Instead:
“Dear Valued Customer,

Thank you for contacting Etisalat UAE Customer Care .

Further to the mentioned subject please be informed that your connection already upgraded to 2Mb on (date that was 20 days ago).
For any further clarifications, please feel free to call us on 101 at your convenience and one of our representatives would be happy to assist you.
Once again we thank you for contacting us with your query and looking forward to serving you in the future.
Tel: 101
Email: care@etisalat.ae
URL:http://www.etisalat.ae
Serving you 24 hours, 7 days

Thanks & Best Regards,

Etisalat Customer Care Center “

You can guess that at this point I’m angry, it is clear that no one read the email in any amount of detail. You’ll also note they signed using a different email address; that’s two email addresses (care@etisalat.ae and care@emirates.ae ; thanks for not trying to confuse customers Etisalat)

It looks like being courteous and nice doesn’t solve a damn thing.
I call up later in the day, I get transferred to yet another supervisor and I really lay into him, he tells me eventually that he will not be able to give me the number of a manager or forward me to a manager because it is “against policy” (possibly the only company on earth where helping a customer is considered against policy) and that the only number they can give out is 101, I quote Etisalat’s ‘code of practice’ and how Etisalat’s highly trained professionals are supposed to fix my problems, I explain that I don’t think Etisalat has highly trained professionals, and that they haven’t fixed my problem.
I explain the ludicrous response to my email.
He eventually tells me that all account upgrades have to be ‘automated’, and as such he has to have a conference call with the heads of 3 separate departments, I ask whether or not this 3-department-coordination has already happened or whether he is the first person to enact it, he claims that it hasn’t been done yet.
I also bring up the whole 4 applications issue, which he apologizes for, I also ask how it’s possible my account is half-upgraded and he tells me that accounts go through the commercial side of Etisalat before being processed by the technical departments which I think is awfully convenient for Etisalat.
He claims that problems like mine happen rarely (out of thousands of upgrades that are processed on a daily basis), I ask him how long the ‘rare’ cases take to be resolved, he says 7 days. I tell him that 20 days is not 7 days.
I ask how my account is listed as upgraded when it isn’t upgraded, he tells me that this is because it goes through the commercial side of Etisalat before it’s really upgraded.
He promises me that he’ll do something about my problem, so I bring up the other supervisors and team leaders who’ve done absolutely nothing so far and always seem to be conveniently ‘unavailable’ 24/7.
After much deliberation and him asking for my cooperation (because I wouldn’t stop interrupting him, because by this stage I’ve heard his I’m-going-to-help you pitch 20 times before), he promises me and gives me his word that he will call me the next day.
He calls and the story is still the same, except it is ‘possible’ that the problem will be fixed tomorrow and now apparently 3 departments are liaising to fix my problem.

The next day my problem still isn’t fixed.

Nor is it fixed the next day, it has now been an entire month since I first called Etisalat to place an application for an internet upgrade, it’s been around 2 weeks since my support ticket was made. I call Etisalat again and eventually get on the line to a supervisor who asks me to email care@emirates.ae with my issue, when I tell him I’ve already done so he says my only option is to visit the Etisalat office in person.

A few days later I happen to be partaking in a journey to another emirate and will finally be able to stop by at Etisalat’s head office in Deira; a local friend who interned or at Etisalat long ago is with me to try and get some wasta on the situation. We manage to get into the upper floors of the office only to find all of his friends were unavailable, I’m pretty sure that my local friend just wanted to visit the Etisalat ‘cafeteria’ where they sell crap like “etisalat juice” and “etisalat burger”.

In the end we tried the civilian method. After waiting just a few minutes I get to speak to a customer service representative…

“Your account is already upgraded”

Ugh. After painstakingly explaining the situation a supervisor is summoned.

Apparently my support ticket number is on a different system to this one and they cannot even check whether it exists or not.
I’m told that 101 is in simple words a complete waste of times, and yeah, the call centre actually is in Ajman. The people for it are hired only part time and as such don’t really care.
I assume what the supervisor was trying to get across is that Etisalat’s hold message of
“dear customer, all our agents are currently busy assisting other customers”
…was actually meant to say…
“dear customer, all our asians are currently busy assisting other customers”

I ask why the call center even exists but this doesn’t really seem to matter, basically I pretty much have to accept that whatever portion of phone/internet bills that go through my household are paid to this support centre are completely wasted.
I mention the whole “giving out numbers is against company policy” and this is denied.

In the end the supervisor gives me his business card but not before jotting down his private mobile number on it, he says that a technician will call me in the morning to book an appointment to fix the problem; he also makes a small joke that if my account isn’t upgraded I can call him and kill him.

I personally thought at this stage that my problem was now being taken seriously (as opposed to the last 15 times I thought it was being taken seriously).

I ask him about getting a refund for the money that is now being paid for an upgraded connection; he says I can write a request right now, I decide against it because after all the connection isn’t even upgraded yet.

So technically my problem should now be sorted shouldn’t it?

The technician hasn’t called the next day by lunch time so I call up and the supervisor apologizes and calls the technicians again.

The technician hasn’t called the next day by lunch time so I call up again and I get told something along the following lines:
“He promised me he was going to call you straight away!” (how dare the supervisor insinuate people at Etisalat misappropriate the truth from time to time)
The supervisor fellow isn’t actually at the office so he calls his colleague and calls me back a few minutes later for my username.

The technician hasn’t called the next day by lunch time so I call up the supervisor again and get called back within a few minutes; he’s spoken to the supervisor/follow up team for the technical people and he’s waiting for call back and he’ll call me back by then.

I call back in the afternoon and now the problem is in Abu Dhabi being worked on; the technical team finishes duty at 3 PM and tomorrow he’ll get them to call me so I can deal with the manager of the technical team directly.

I SMS him the next day to remind him about the issue (he asked me to do so)… no response…

The next day is a weekend and I’m pretty sure the supervisor fellow is off for the day; I thought I’d be busy for the next few days non-stop but it ended up not happening, so I call him up again the next day and he doesn’t answer his phone. For the next few days he doesn’t answer his phone at all or call me back.

I call 101 again and give an earful to the person who answers the phone, they repeatedly try to put down my number to get a supervisor to call me back, I give more of an earful. I get put on hold for a supervisor and I wait. The supervisor picks up, says he’s heard about my case before and that he filed some documentation to do with it and that the technical team never responded. He files some more documentation.

I visit an Etisalat kiosk within a shopping centre and try and get a solution there; my account is listed as upgraded. It is not upgraded. There’s no workable solution that I haven’t already tried, no management contact at all either.

I call what I assume is Etisalat’s press office; it’s number is included with most of its press releases and I ask a few questions. The guy on the phone doesn’t know much on what I can do, but he takes down my name and my number and if he finds out anything he’ll get someone to call me.

The next day I receive 2 calls from Abu Dhabi that I didn’t have a chance to answer, I call back and a local man picks up, he asks me to email my complaint to him.
I’m really unsure of how this guy got my number, either it’s because I called the press office or because someone casually mentioned to the head of Etisalat that I was angry about the excess amount on my bill seemingly being spent on a big PR event/promotion…

I email the guy mentioning everything I could in about 2 pages; I even mentioned the supervisor who ignored me, I left details vague on purpose, so I’d know whether or not they actually gave a damn.

Later in the day I receive a message on my mobile from Etisalat saying my case is being investigated and I should bear with them until the ‘outcome is emerged’.
A few minutes later a lady calls to tell me my case is being investigated.

The next day I wait. In 5 days time it will have been 48 days since I first called Etisalat (I’m thinking that maybe upgrades don’t take 48 hours, they actually take 48 days). I still have no idea what department it exactly is that’s dealing with my situation, I try doing a reverse lookup on the two land-line numbers they provided along with the SMS but neither gets any result.

I get home in the evening and after fiddling around a bit, I find an upgraded internet connection.
My suspicions were correct; there was no equipment that needed upgrading, nor any server that wasn’t getting full speed.
All they needed to do was change my configuration file to the following;
SW Download INIT - Via Config file CM20480256_SB4100_1.4.9_bin.cfg
And that’s what they did.
And now they owe me money.

So the next day an engineer from Etisalat calls me; he tells me the problem has been fixed. He claims to be level 3 technical support; as to why it took this long to involve level 3 technical support I have no idea… Well I do, it’s because Etisalat sucks.

He has received the email I sent about the whole issue, and asks for the name of the supervisor from Etisalat’s Deira branch that stopped answering my phone calls; they have recordings of every single technical support phone call I’ve made so far and they’re going to investigate the issue, which will probably achieve nothing.

What does that even mean they're 'investigating' it?



I'm safe knowing that the Etisalat Bureau of Investigation is on the issue!

(logo contributed by f)

I inquire as to the exact amount I would be paying since I was told the account was upgraded; he says that I’ll be charged for 1 megabit. I tell him that I’m not going to pay 1 fil for that entire time. He isn’t the billing department though, so he’s going to contact them, it may take some time; Time I have. Patience I have not.

I ask him how long it took him to fix the issue, as in how long did it take him to sit down at his computer and click a few times on his mouse… he never understood the question regardless of how I phrased it, so I didn’t get an answer. All I wanted to know was how long he had to sit down at a computer to fix the problem? 10 minutes? 10 hours?
I’m betting it took all of 10 minutes.

So now I have my faster internet speed and I can actually stream video’s properly. It took 43 days since the first time I called. Etisalat is really up my service.