The best posting about traffic ever.

I’ve had one instructor look at me as though I was mad when I asked to be taught hill starts and three-point turns, saying that I wouldn’t be tested on them; another prefaced every instruction with “the examiner will be watching for that”.
....
A lot of this is about money. One instructor has told me she feels pushed by students into letting them take the test, because they can’t afford to keep taking lessons. I found the big name school I eventually joined to be the most thorough, but the amount you have to pay up front – a minimum of 35 lessons, at Dh1,500-plus – puts it out of reach of many who just want to get through quickly and cheaply.
...
New drivers are not the only, or even the main, problem on our roads. But we are missing a brilliant opportunity to start tackling the issue at the grass roots, by creating a new generation of proactive, educated drivers – and making them the best on the road from the start.

Link to Article

This isn't the first time i've read about the "education" argument, but I thought, after reading this statement;

New drivers are not the only, or even the main, problem on our roads. But we are missing a brilliant opportunity to start tackling the issue at the grass roots, by creating a new generation of proactive, educated drivers – and making them the best on the road from the start.

and after carefully avoiding direct mention of driving, i'd give my two cents.

Welcome to the best damn look at bad driving since the invention of the car.

Here's a thought for all of you.

IT ISN'T ABOUT EDUCATION, IT NEVER HAS BEEN, AND IT NEVER WILL BE

I'm sorry but that just won't cut it in my world. Here's a primary rule, IF YOU HAVE A BRAIN, YOU USE IT.

It's like saying "fat people eat food they don't know is bad for them".
Shutup. It isn't.
I have NEVER EVER EVER MET ONE SINGLE FAT PERSON WHO DOESN'T KNOW THAT FATTY FOOD IS BAD FOR THEM.
IT'S COMMON LOGIC;

EAT DONUTS FOR BREAKFAST, DINNER AND LUNCH = FAT ASS

whereas...

EAT SALAD FOR BREAKFAST, DINNER AND LUNCH = NOT FAT ASS

Instead of them stopping eating the damn food, which is about as simple as the concept of "pouring a glass of water", they continute eating bad food, the IQ doesn't go up, and the stupidity continues.

I thought i'd tackle this problem in a way unlike anyone else has.

I'm going to put pictures for you.

You see that?
IT'S A LINE.

CAN YOU WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE?
I CAN TOO, I LEARNT HOW TO WALK IN A STRAIGHT LINE WHEN I WAS A TODDLER. SO DID YOU.

So assuming that the average person who drives in Dubai can walk in a straight line, shouldn't they be able to keep IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LANE, CLEARLY INDICATED BY THE BIG FREAKING WHITE LINES EITHER SIDE OF IT? I MEAN REALLY, IT'S A SIMPLE SYSTEM, IT'S LIKE PARKING A CAR BETWEEN TWO LINES (ok, bad example), OR PUTTING A COIN INSIDE A COKE MACHINE.

You know what it is? It's in everyone's minds, the offenders know that at the end of the day, and we know at the end of the day, for every person that get's fined for driving on the hard shoulder, there are about three hundred and seventy five thousand others in the same incident who WON'T GET A DAMN FINE.
[censored]
One in three hundred and seventy five thousand drivers fined for driving on the hard shoulder.
Censored to protect the innocent, oh wait, that's right they're guilty.

You know when you go to Mc Donalds, and there is like a queue with people in it;
Do you...
A. PUSH IN FRONT OF LINE CLAIMING TO BE UNEDUCATED?
or do you...
B. PATIENTLY WAIT IN THE BACK OF THE DAMN QUEUE?

Oh the complexity of that decision...


You know what I like to call it?
It's called being rude, inconsiderate, impatient, and generally idiotic.

If you're going to punch someone in the face, do you warn them beforehand? No.
So if you're looking to piss someone off, you don't use the indicator, it's as easy as that, you are punching someone in the face. Simple.

Read disclaimer at bottom of page
I've been in cars with "younger" drivers who are able to indicate properly, change lanes properly, drive without speeding, and generally respect fellow drivers.
clue: When you are not "younger" you can see movies rated 18, I hope that was a give away, and even so, the disclaimer still applies.

IT ISN'T ABOUT EDUCATION.

Everyone knows that speeding is bad, it's common logic.

CAR CRASH AT SLOW SPEED = NOT SO BAD
Whereas...
CAR CRASH AT HIGH SPEED = BAD

I know 4 year olds that can understand that concept, If you hit someone hard, it'll hurt, if you hit them soft, it won't.
It's simple.

When you see someone that has parked over TWO PARKING SPACES, what do you say?

My goodness Jane of Jumeirah, That man over there really needs some driving lessons, OH SHIVER DARLING, I SPILT SOME EARL GREY TEA ON MY NEW TROUSERS FROM DEBENHAMS, WHAT EVER WILL I DO!

no, you don't.
You say, (in probably not such a nice way),

My goodness Jane of Jumeirah, That man over there really is a wanker/prick.

So when you see someone DRIVING INBETWEEN TWO LANES,
PLEASE DO NOT KID YOURSELVES

THEY ARE NOT SUFFERING FROM A LACK OF EDUCATION, THEY ARE BEING INCONSIDERATE, DON'T LET THEM TRY AND PLAY THE "OH I WAS TAUGHT AT BEL HASA AND DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE" CARD ON YOU, UNLESS YOU ARE AN IDIOT TOO.

How much skill does it really take to drive inbetween a set of lines? It isn't as if you're operating on someone's spinal column, or hacking into the NSA, you're holding a damn steering wheel in a stationary position.

The only reasons the people who don't drive well in Dubai don't drive well is because;
A.) They are inconsiderate.
B.) They know they can get away with it 374,999 times out of 375,000.
C.) They don't pay attention when they drive.

NEW RULE: IF YOU CAN'T PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD, PLEASE CRASH INTO A TREE.

It isn't because they can't.
I could drive well, and I don't even have a damn license.

As for tailgating etc, it's still because they're inconsiderate, if they were paying attention, they would keep distance from the car infront.
IT'S LOGIC.

CLOSE TO CAR IN FRONT + CAR IN FRONT STOPS QUICKLY = LOTS O' DAMAGE

Whereas....

ADDED DISTANCE FROM CAR IN FRONT + CAR IN FRONT STOPS QUICKLY = MOST PROBABLY NO DAMAGE

When bad drivers tailgate, they are being INCONSIDERATE AND DAMN IMPATIENT.

You see the BIG RED LIGHT THAT WE LEARNT ABOUT ON SESAME STREET?
If you need a license to know what colour means go, please visit this link (YOU CAN EVEN PRINT IT OUT AND COLOUR IT IN!)
(If you've figured out how to start the car, i'd assume you know what colour is GO and what colour is STOP)

In conclusion, i'd say the only way Dubai is going to experience a dramatic improvement in driving standards is if the police really toughen up, and arrest EVERYONE who breaks the law. (or you could remove safety labels on chainsaws and flamethrowers and let the problem solve itself)


PS: If any journalists write about this in the near future, it means they copied me, because i'm better than them, and everyone knows that I am making a damn valid point in this post.